Self help for the masses. Is it failing us?

“Self help content for the masses is oversimplified and sweetened with a false sense of hope and meaningless pats on the back” - Mark Travers Ph.D

Unguided self help is made for the masses which means it lacks context. 

It can also trick us into thinking that by knowing something, we’re doing the mahi. 

But knowledge without action is like taking sunscreen to the beach and not putting it on. 

It’s sitting at the table with your head in your phone reading inspirational posts about being mindful and not noticing your loved one who needs a hug, or the way the morning sun hits your new fiddle leaf fig. 

I really believe that over-consuming this kind of stuff may be perpetuating the need for help in the first place. 

In 2016, neuroscientists looked into the relationship between unguided self help, stress, and depression. The findings suggested that those who consumed self-help books had higher levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) and were more likely to have depressive symptoms compared to those who didn’t (Raymond et al., 2016), 

I’m not suggesting you stay clear of self help books. 

What I am suggesting is that if you want to make helpful changes, reading a shit load of self help content isn’t the answer. 

For me self help involves the little things. Slowing down when I eat my breaky, listening to people as they speak, noticing my breath when I shower, checking in with myself after a big day, and having a yum treat. 

It’s getting support from REAL people, and APPLYING processes in real time. Processes that work for me, because context is everything. It’s connecting with my psychologist (and others in my life) who can listen, understand, and help me work through my own unique shitty shit. It’s solitude, meditation when I least feel like it, writing, getting back into my body with my breath and movement, and connecting with people I love.

Most of all, it’s recognising when my expectation to have my shit together is resulting in shame as I face the reality that I am a messy human.

It’s remembering that I am allowed to exist on a sliding scale of having it all figured out while knowing nothing at all. And so are you. 

The irony of this post has not gone unnoticed. Anti-self help infused with more self help. Whoops. 

So with all that said, take some time to question your relationship with self help. What actually helps you? What doesn’t? Act accordingly. 

And if you are really feeling this, go ahead and unfollow any self help accounts that aren’t very helpful at all, even if that’s me because in all honesty, I’m still trying to figure out what my role is on this weird, confusing, slightly stressful platform. 

Bye for now!