Some thoughts on self help and why accounts like mine can make you feel like shit.
I speak to so many people who don’t know where to start with their personal development or healing, so they don’t start at all.
Why? They’re overwhelmed with the amount of information and options available.
From tapping to NLP, meditation boot camps, online courses, breathe like this, make boundaries like that, cold water here, journal there, release, reflect… video your daily self love somatic release dance for 1000’s to see… It's a lot.
No judgement to these things, I love a good boogie when I’m down and cold water + meditation are my vices.
But when it comes to my own personal development, I try to keep a tab open for questions like…
What am I doing to help myself?
Is it helpful?
Why am I doing this?
What do I actually need?
I try to make sure that when I choose to do something, I do it NOT because “I should” but because it serves me, my values and the people I love.
There is a firm difference between knowing 100’s of different best ways to be, half assing all of them because you feel like you “should be doing it”, and committing to your OWN best way to be, regardless of what people like me have to say about it.
If you’re overwhelmed or feel like you’re not doing enough, here are some things to ponder.
Take ‘should’ out of your vocabulary.
Do what feels right for you, not what you “should” be doing based on the latest self help trend. The best way to help yourself is to do so from a place of intention and purpose, not guilt.
Stop being a self help sponge.
Focus on 1 thing at a time, unfollow accounts that overwhelm you and connect with a REAL LIFE psychologist, coach, mentor, plant, place, pal whose ‘services’ are relevant to you.
Individualise self help.
Figure out what YOU need, not what the self help industry says you need.
Differentiate between your ‘intuition’ and your emotions / thoughts.
“You do you” can feel confusing when you’re been told what to do by the rest of the world. Seek guidance from a professional who can help you to know the difference between being emotion driven vs. values driven. That way, you can own your decisions and rely less on external validation.
